I am floating without the solid ground beneath my bare feet. I want to feel the warmth of the earth and the wet grass below me. I want to tread, step by step without the ground giving way.
But if I‘m trying to walk, there is nothing to carry me. I‘m lifting with each step higher and higher in the void and if I‘m looking down, the world is distant and unreal. I don‘t know where I am and what I‘m doing. Oh no, wait I think I know it... I am here and I am now. What I do is to be. I‘m becoming one with the deep abyss of the void around me. Until there is nothing but consciousness in the void. Only experiencing the now. There is no yesterday or tomorrow. Nothing else but void. I want to fill this void with all that I could create. I want to look ahead and back and see the path of life, like a golden shining silken thread, telling me where I came from and where I will go. But there is still nothing else but void. I feel rigid in my void. Nothing moves me. No storm to moil me around. No gentle breeze to carry me away. I‘m waiting for someone to see me up here. For someone to reach up to me and to pull me down back on the ground. But nothing is happening. There is no helping hand reaching up for me. Now, only hope can carry me. Like a soft summer breeze, whispering beautiful dreams in my ears. I can hear the dream and I‘m starting to paint with the magnificent colors of imagination. I‘m dipping my brush in peace, trust, hope, community, love, acceptance, awareness, selflessness, love, and freedom. I‘m filling the world with all of my colors. I‘m painting the world and it is more vibrant than any objective reality could ever be. I know, I won‘t ever be done with my painting. And while I‘m painting I‘m slowly sinking back on the ground, coloring all that I‘m floating past with my beautiful colors, until the whole world is filled with my colors. But I have to paint more and so I‘m painting the past the present and the future. Now I can see the future in front of me. Plunged in my vibrant colors of hope and trust. I hope and trust, that one day there will be an abundant number of souls painting with me.
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November 2021
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