REFLECTION ON MAY 2021 - by Brigid

I don‘t know why, but I can‘t move. I‘m sinking deeper and deeper into the past. Is this real?
I look around.
Oh yea, looks like time is turning backward now.
Now I know what's going to happen. Now I‘m in power. It‘s like knowing the future.
I know everything. Now I can close my eyes. I don‘t have to search anymore.
Everything is turning dark. I can‘t see light. I can‘t hear your voice. I can‘t feel myself.

When I open my eyes it‘s still dark.
I‘m scared and I‘m still sinking, deeper and deeper into the past.
I don‘t want to be here anymore. I want to open my eyes without knowing what I will see. I want to move, without knowing where to. I want to speak without knowing who will listen and what I will say.
But I remain silent, where I am. Looking around myself, seeing nothing but darkness.
But then I can hear you calling. Calling my name from above. I look up and I can see the sky.

You say:
''Fly away. Spread your wings and push up in the air, light and strong. Higher than the trees and the mountains. Above everything that could hold you down.
Don‘t look back. Never look back, only look in the future.
Can you see it? Can you see it coming?‘‘
I say:
''Don‘t tell me. I know already. I know I will be until I won‘t.‘‘